The Dyspraxic Sporting Arena: learning to lose.

Everyone and I do mean everyone knows what it feels like to lose: that bitter taste, that frustration, that feeling of being briefly depressed, and also that feeling of wanting revenge against the team, person, or circumstance that beat you. One of the most important lessons in life is learning how to lose, learning how to channel all those emotions as effectively as possible. For a Dyspraxic the most beneficial way of experiencing all this is through sport.

Dyspraxics lose every day on the pitch, we are without exception the last to be picked and the first to be substituted. The hard bit is not coming to terms with the blank space behind you and dealing with daily comments like "We will take Ben, on our team." The hard part is turning that feeling of rejection, isolation, and loneliness into a positive one. Don't worry there are all things to do here and our main friend is a combination of stoicism and sheer bloody-mindedness.

The only other real friend here is time, time to get up, time to fight the perfect t---- who talk of sporting careers at school, and time to exact revenge in a positive manner. I love sport and I love winning but winning is not a right, it is something that has to be earned and if you are a Dyspraxic you will have to do it through strategy and intelligence. The Dyspraxic Game is one of the constant challenges, small, narrow wins, and challenging victories.

I love developing strategies and I think this is because of Dyspraxia. People who know me really well use the cliché of winning wars but horrifically losing individual battles. Although I stray away from this talk, it is a challenge to argue with it. I don't know if an immediate win has actually been achieved. Small wins are the luxury of more practical people, people who grow up would always get the girl and the box of chocolates.

My emotions towards these people have always greatly skewed to almost being hateful to them. It is important to acknowledge faults and work to address them. So far the insecurity given to me Dyspraxia has struggled to address the insecurity posed. But in the positive sense that feeling has definitely given me extra fight and extra desire to prove these people wrong.

As a Chelsea fan, I have been luxury to be a season ticket for over twenty years and I remember the defeats as much as the defining victories. From watching us thrash Man United to win The Title to being in the Bayern Munich stadium to witness Drogba netting a winning penalty in 2012 . The point is that if you have to work harder to win, it will undoubtedly feel more special when you do win.

Of course, the practical realities of Dyspraxia doing make winning harder. The very fact that it takes half an hour to change, the fact that you can't really tie shoe laces. The answer is to invest in Velcro shoes and to be the first into the changing room and the answer is definitely NOT resentment and jealousy. Let your sporty mates enjoy the trappings of sporting success, you can enjoy it too if you only let yourself.

Jealousy is a complete waste of negative space and one of my favourite sayings is 'Don't get mad, get even.' Every Dyspraxic should incorporate this into their personal manifesto, if you do I promise there will be wins along the way.

Okay, our victories may look slightly less glamorous than those of our peers: not smashing a glass in a week, keeping your jacket collar in the right place all day, and kicking a football more than twenty yards. In itself, this does not make any of those victories any less relevant. In fact, in a way, this makes the win that bit more impressive.

I realised a long time ago that I would have to find other ways to fit into the sporting world and one of those ways was to learn how to coach football. In secondary school, I became Assistant Manager of the football team. The teacher I was helping was an Aston Villa scout and I was willing to learn. I loved picking his brains for footballing insights. I hoped I helped Mr. Farmer but even if I didn't it was a massive boost to morale.

Struggling to make a sporting impact? Don't worry you are not alone and we are all right behind you. Grab a pen, and piece of paper and get planning. I have every confidence that you find a way to win...Good Luck.